Thursday, July 12, 2012

Not foreveralone

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:13 NIV

Moving on now to the third day of the fast, yesterday wasn't feeling that bad because I had breakfast and some soup and milo. But also maybe I more use to it? Today I am doing the fast alone because Eugene has some special celebration for his end-of-internship. At first I wanted to just end it to, but atlas iris wanted me to share word tomorrow! I know I can't share what I do not experience and I know God wants me to continue to this last day! It's amazing how I sometimes can feel the Holy Spirit nudging me about stuff. Like yesterday I said all sort of compain-ish stuff to Eugene, but I know Holy Spirit wants me to stop, cause deep down I know Eugene is trying and improving and I can't expect him to think like me! So I did stop my mad rambles and he left with us on a positive note. It's amazing how when our relationship become so God focus we just really help build each other up. The fast is also really helping me keep my focus on God!

It made me realized some of my personal issues, like sometime I really have no wisdom in my speech! I really just like to say some really stupid stuff which I will regret immediately and feel stupid about. It doesn't help that I have quite the temper! I guess it is due to my family background, my parents always say a lot of terrible stuff to us especially when they are angry. But hey I am old enough to know I have a problem and it is never too late to correct them now. The way you are brought up doesn't have to define who you are. God made me I am define by Him not my environment!

the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. -John 14:17-19 NIV

Foreveralone.jpeg- The famous meme, I think why it is so often use is people are truly afraid to be alone, seen alone or viewed as loner. Loner= loser. I have struggled with this issue forever since my primary school days to tertiary education. Due to the trauma of my childhood days, I don't like to make friends, it's even more difficult for me I have close friends. I had always believe that they will abandon me for someone better. I also never felt good enough, sense of insecurity, low self-worth... But Eugene shared with me his similar story and being the forever logical guy he is, showed me God loves me and I am never alone. God lives me and even when I seemed alone, He has already sent His Holy Spirit and angels to be with me. Eugene even prayed with me. I am amazed and thankful at how God is working in our relationship now. We never used to prayed for each other and now we pray for each other every night:)

God is amazing

No comments: